Thursday, June 30, 2011

I love to admit when I am wrong

I went to lunch with Kyle, and it was not what I expected.

In a good way.

I expected feelings, and such. I expected to have to restrain myself and make sure I behaved.

But none of that happened.

Talking to him was bland. Seeing him was bland. He even ordered a bland sandwich, which makes me sad. I love a good sandwich.

Kyle is boring, and simply put: I no longer have any feelings for him.

I think that this is wonderful, and I know it took all this time harboring over what could or might have been for me to get to a happy place in my own life without him to be able to see that he never really mattered. He only mattered because I needed him too.

I needed someone, anyone to matter.

I am pathetic sometimes.

Now, I am happy knowing that there is no chance of redemption; he doesn't need to change for us to be happy. He and I are not happy. And we aren't meant to be together, here or there.

And now the only other man on my mind and in my heart is Harry Potter. But, to get technical, Tom is the other man to Harry, he was there first. And I'll love him forever.


  1. I love this post. Weird how things change...I do love myself Harry Potter though :)

  2. Sometimes I think it is good to see an ex...just so you can realize how much you don't like about them anymore...that really helped me last year too.

  3. Why didn't you tell me that you had lunch with him when I saw you?!?!?! This is HUGE!

    I'm happy you're happy and that you're doing well with everything. :)

    Also, 15 days. My heart can't take it. <3

  4. This. It happened to be with an ex also, how the reality of him was something way different than what my head painted him out to be while we were apart.

    Moving on is a really good feeling.


  5. this really made me feel sad. I hope you're doing better.

  6. at least you figured out he was boring now instead later... light at the end of the tunnel??

  7. Sucks the way things work out but at least it's confirmation that it wasn't meant to be. :(