Friday, January 14, 2011

Lets end this week on a positive note

There is nothing better than having one of the worst days in your life then waking up the next morning and without really trying everything is a little better.

Sleep helps. Alcohol also helps. I may have found the only drink I'll ever need last night. It was called a POM Sake Martini from Ruby Tuesdays. I have been searching the net all morning for how to make it with little success. I may have to just go back and flirt with the bartender till they tell me how to make it. It was so good.

Oddly it had a really comforting smell. The smell may have been why I loved it so much. I started out by saying it reminded me of my childhood... then realized that saying booze reminded me of my youth was a little weird. Then I said it reminded me of my Dad, which was also awkward. However, since I can't think of anything else, and it really does remind me of my Dad and my childhood while simultaneously being delicious and smooth, this is my new favorite drink and I will tell people why I love it.

Yesterday I found out that my friend who David had made out with on new years was hanging out with him again. I thought this was great because David needs friends and she is an awesome girl. However, I then discovered that they had actually been on a date, after I explicitly asked them both not to and explained why I felt the way I did about the situation  and they both said they wouldn't.

 I was so upset. How could he do that to me? How could she do that to me?

Asking David not to date my friends is one thing. It's too close to home, and the way these two got together is infuriating because it was right behind my back and very shady... but I feel like having to ask my friends not to date David should be unnecessary. I shouldn't have had to ask her not to in the first place, let alone again.

I don't want to seem like a crazy territorial bitch pissing all over the place to ensure that no one trespasses on my property, David is not my property. My friends are not my property either. But where did the bro code go? Where did not dating your friends ex's go? Where did doing things you feel guilty about... then doing them again become okay behavior?

I don't know, and obviously not everyone thinks the same way I do, but I do think that it's a little ridiculous. I'm just frustrated by the whole thing, that's all.

It's over, hopefully for the last time. David said he wouldn't see her in a romantic setting again.

I don't like this part of my personality; the jealous, green part. I don't like having all these feelings I can't rationalize... except, with this I have rationalized them. You can't be my friend and date David. End of story. My heart couldn't take it. I don't think it's that much to ask.

But, it is the green monster... and I am the meat it mockingly feeds on.

Good news is I actually do feel better today. I went out last night and had fun. I discovered my new favorite drink ever. I potentially have a woman date with my gal pal Merry, and I've been texting Adrienne all morning. Ellen emailed me and it's almost like a drug how much that lifts my spirits. My massage is tomorrow and let's all just try to relax till then so it can do the most good.

Hope your weekends are all exactly what you need them to be.


  1. POM Sake Martini, huh? Sounds delicious, except that I don't like pomegranate. : /

    I hope that you keep feeling awesome until (and after) your massage, tomorrow!!

  2. Your love, your love,your love, is my drug! :P

  3. Uh, you are not crazy. Not at all. That is really effed up what they did, especially behind your back. I don't think it's ridiculous to at least ask them to be respectful and give it a little time. Good for you for sticking up for yourself! :)

  4. If your friend does date David, then she is not your friend. Common knowledge, an unspoken rule. Glad you stuck up for yourself. Drink sounds yummy.

  5. You are totally right. You should not have to ask your friend not to date your ex. That should go without saying.
    However... if she clearly does't get this rule, it's HER you need to ask to not see him again... She has an allegience to you, right? Not him?..

    Good for you for realizing that your friends can't date your ex :)

    I wish we had a Ruby Tuesdays in Canada - the drink sounds delish!

  6. I became interested in reading your blogs early on and I have not had the courage to post anything because I felt that my opinion wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things (which, is entirely likely) but with this entry I cannot hold my tongue. Your blog has inspired me to comment and be completely honest.

    Forgive me for posting this, as it appears that I am the only individual sharing this particular viewpoint (and blogs are about expressing one's opinion via an online database)but I deem it necessary to comment with an alternate perspective.

    I am, of course, referring to your commentary on David and your "friend." I whole-heartedly am going to have to disagree with you, and my fellow commenters on this issue. I apologize if I get the facts and figures incorrect, but from what I've read of your blog, you and David have been broken up for quite some time now. I realize the difficulties that come with the ending of a relationship and I can sympathize with the hardship of moving on, but I feel like you've overstepped your boundaries with this one. Excuse me for being so blunt, but I find this behavior a little immature.

    Is the reason you are so upset because David is dating your "friend" or because David is dating someone that is not you?

  7. If it is the first, maybe you should re-evaluate your friendship with said person (if you feel like this is grounds to end a friendship). Or maybe you should do as they tell you to do in elementary school to solve arguments and "put yourself in the other person's shoes." Maybe your friend didn't realize the extent to which this would hurt you, or maybe she only considered you an acquaintance, rather than a bosom-friend. If she were a mere acquaintance, then what's the big deal? Knowing a person through a mutual friend does not hold the same weight of being an actual "friend" with someone. Again, this is only my speculation as an outsider, I am unaware of the relationship you have with your friend. The only reason I am tempted to say you are more acquaintance, rather than friend, is because both this friend AND David failed to mention this "romantic encounter" when you first asked.

    Now if it is the latter, and you are upset that this date was not with you, then Sweetie, I'm sorry but you're going to have to get over it. I do not feel it prudent to settle down at this age! In the words of YouTube artist Joseph Birdsong, "isn't it enough to be young and free now?" Why are you rushing into commitment? This is a time to be liberated and have fun. Learn how to be happy without the dependency on another human being. Learn how to be single and happy.

  8. It is clear to me that you are not over your ex, David. This concerns me. It has been over six months, has it not? I know you can't put a time limit on these types of things, and I applaud you for accepting you are having trouble with this and are currently seeking help from professionals, but don't take it out on David. If he is happy with her, so be it. If you are meant to be with David in the future, don't worry about it, it'll happen if it's in the cards for you two. I advise you not to take it out on this friend, either. For all you know, she is doing you a favor by showing you that you can, and will survive without David in your life.

    If they want to explore their feelings for one another, let them. By writing blogs about them probably doesn't help the situation, as I'm sure both parties read it; and I can't imagine them being too happy about what you're writing. Don't use the excuse that this is the only medium you can talk about your feelings either, you've written about how you've talked to both of them separately.

    But for now, I think you should just remove yourself from the situation and let them do their thing... It's time to put your big girl panties on and forget about this dude, so you won't "seem like a crazy territorial bitch pissing all over the place to ensure that no one trespasses on my property" and have everyone think you're a psycho bitch. Just saying.

  9. Penise, let me start by saying that I love you. I know that you're angry and upset about these recent developments, and that's entirely understandable. I might have egged a house if I was in your position, so you have more poise than I. Don't worry, Love, things will get easier and I'm absolutely sure that nothing can stop your unconquerable, wonderful self. You just need to give yourself some time to sort through these feelings.

    I'm proud of you for making so many great strides in your life lately. I will always have faith in your ability to persevere, and a girl can really draw strength from friends like you. Thank you for that, and for wiping me up off of the floor several times when I really needed it. You're a gem... No, a tennis bracelet. Nay, a PEARL bracelet.

  10. A SAKE MARTINI?! ...Has God finally answered my prayers?

    I- I mean, don't drown your sorrows in the boozes! (Drink one for meee!)