Monday, January 17, 2011

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I want to thank you. Not for putting me in my place, because you didn't, but 1) for finally commenting. and 2) for pointing out the things I've omitted from my blog over the last 6 months.

I haven't been clear about mine and Davids relationship because I'm sort of embarrassed by what it is (was?) and his mother sometimes reads this blog. David rarely does, he's too busy with his techie sites that update every five minutes to read this. Plus, since I talk to him on almost a daily basis, he basically knows everything that goes on here.

David and I have been really really close since we broke up, and since I've started therapy our relationship started to flourish. As friends of course. He didn't want that with me and I respected his wishes.

However, I do mean flourished. We spent the night together about five nights a week because we both love sleeping in the same bed as the other... at night, that was the only time we held hands. Sometimes we would kiss each other on the cheek or forehead, but that'd be it. No more. We were friends. Only.

Emotionally, we were attached at the kidney. I told him everything, he told me everything. We were basically in a relationship (his words, not mine) without actually being in a relationship. We said, "I love you" all the time, and there really were no boundaries (except sex).

When you're connected to someone like that it's hard to not feel love for them, I don't think I was being crazy.

As far as me not wanting him to date anyone verses this particular girl... I'm going to keep this as simple as possible because it's not my place to air others dirty laundry. It was not just because he was seeing someone. David has been on a date since we broke up, unfortunately the girl was seeing someone and he hadn't realize it so it just turned into a hang out. But, before I knew that I was still happy for him. I want David to see people. But, the way he and this girl started out was not good.

It was at a party that he and I had thrown together and invited her to. After I went to bed (in Davids bed, per usual, waiting for him to come)  she sent him a text asking him to fool around. She and I were friends, we met through mutual friends and hung out a few times... I did consider a friend. That was not cool. That was what upset me most. There are right ways and wrong ways to do things, that was shady, underhanded, and disrespectful. I have a right to be hurt by someone disrespecting me.

Finally, David admitted to me that the main reason he went out with her the second time was because he was so angry with me. He did it to spite me and hurt my feelings. He did it because he knew it was a good way to get those things done. Now, he's trying to fix it. He's trying to earn my trust back and treat me like I deserve to be treated. David broke up with me because the depression was causing me to be distant and a push over. Now that I'm getting better and standing up for myself he doesn't know how to deal with things. That, however is not my problem.

I hope I have cleared things up for you Anonymous, because I really do like having readers who comment even if they don't agree with everything I say or do.


If you're confused as to why I'm writing this please click here and read the comments


  1. Still seeing an ex is like being in purgatory.

  2. Interesting post. And here I thought the ONLY thing an ex- was good for was sex.

  3. I hate Anonymous commenters. Nut up and leave your name if you're going to say something - good or bad. We moderate ours now because it got so bad and it's given me a lot more piece of mind.

    Nice response, Denise :)