I like the dark blue

I have been changing the look of my blog every other minute for a bit now and I am sorry for that, I need to find something and just stick with it... but, I can't find a good header photo and my computer is filled with mostly pictures of recipes... and I don't think that this blog is a good place for food photos, although I do love the way this looks.

Yes, I just whored out my cooking blog. I am glad you clicked on it. :)

Anyway, if you can think of a photo that is awesome or of something that reminds you of me that I should take a picture of... holla at me yo. I'm trying to make this blog feel like home. Maybe I should use a picture of pillows, I love pillows.

I wore sweat pants this morning to work tucked into boots. And by boots I mean leopard print slipper boots with a rubber bottom that I wear outside when the ground isn't wet. The weather has been pretty chilly here, but the snow melted last week and there is no water on the ground so slippers outside are completely acceptable. I think.

I just sent the longest email of my life to Ellen. It's impressive that she left yesterday and it's been maybe 27 hours since I've seen her and I can write her a book. I do have skill in the talking area. And, since a million and one things happened last night, I feel like that is perfectly acceptable.

David and I are taking some time apart... for our sanity, and for our relationship. Whatever exactly you classify it under.

 He thinks he relies on me too much, and I agree. I think he doesn't appreciate me enough. He agrees. We both think that time apart will help us break out of this thing we are which is somewhere between dating and not. It's a really confusing place that involves spending lots of time together, one on one time, sleeping in the same bed often, saying, "I love you" on an almost daily basis, and not ever even kissing. We are basically dating, without all the hankey pankey stuff and I didn't really realize it till Kyle said it, and then David said it. It's true. We were everything for each other that a significant other would be sans the physical stuff. Emotionally, we were hooked. Are hooked. I'm obviously still hooked on him.

The most important thing that was discussed yesterday was us, the future us. He asked me where I wanted to be with him and I said that in 10 years I wanted to be married with no children living in Oregon. I want him because through internet dating and the whole 5 people I've met (and the slew of crap that I've decided not to meet) I've realized that he's perfect. We love all the same things, but also have out own interests that can keep us occupied and not too involved in the others life, we agree on almost everything from politics to religion, we have fun and it's easy. With him my heart is content, and there really doesn't seem to be someone out there who'll do it for me like David does.

attn: This does not mean I'm going to stop looking. match dot com is fun, I've met some great people, some crazies, yes, but friends too. Not every internet crush pans out to be love when you meet in person. And that's okay. I'm still looking to find love, the internet seems like the most logical place to do that still. 

I told him that whenever he started to date someone else he'd have a great time for the first few months, and then he'd realize that everything that was missing in his relationship was me. He'd see soon enough that the reason we are the way we are is because we rock hard core together and no one will do for him what I do for him. He said that no matter how true that was, he wanted to find out for himself, which I respect. I want him to be happy just like I want me to be happy, and I know that no matter what happens we'll find some way to be involved in each others lives; I think we just really need this time apart to remember why we love each other and to see that there is no reason to not be together.

He said that if it's meant to be he wants to fall back in love with me; to feel a spark again. To forget why he wants me so much and then have me remind him.

It's almost like a Nicholas Sparks novel... I hope I don't get cancer.

With Ellen in Geneva and David and I limiting our contact for a while, I'm on the market for a new best friend. Those interested may submit and application in person or online, please attach a head shot.

Requirements: laughs at my jokes. Humors me, often. Reads Harry Potter. Likes gay people. Enjoys the occasional drink. Is willing to listen to me talk about my poop.

And thinks stuff like this is hilarious and therefore sends me pictures of them .

Photo credit: my sister

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