Recently I've been complaining a lot about Tom and the fact that he is a 'publican and how it will probably ruin our relationship somewhere down the road... and by relationship I obviously mean "relationship" (please do the finger quoties, it'll make me happy) because we're not together... to my sister because every time I hang out with him (which is really really often) she asks me why I keep doing it.
The answer is simple: I like him.
Really like him.
So, Teresa decided that any time I whine about Thomas and his lack of ability to be whatever it is I want him to be at the moment of my whining, I must surround it with two things I like... a conversational sandwich she calls it.
Positive: Tom cooks well and is not afraid to try new things.
Negative: Tom is a 'publican.
Positive: Tom's muscles are from the Lord and can only be described as Godlike.
See? That wasn't so hard... Let's try another
Positive: Tom's eyes are so blue I have to make sure I don't stare at them for too long lest I get lost.
Negative: Tom doesn't listen so well, and has trouble communicating what he actually means.
He usually needs to talk himself to a conclusion and the likelihood he'll piss me off on the way is pretty high.
Positive: Tom talks, and he wants to be heard.
Opinionated people are great, as long as they can logically back up their opinions. Dating a guy who just doesn't care (Kyle, cough cough) gets boring after a short while. I am interesting, no denying that, but I can't have all the opinions, that's lame. Tom has his own opinions, and as long as I have the time to listen to him talk his way through his reasoning, we can usually come to a place that makes sense. It's far more exciting.
It's not that hard, and since he really does have a lot of good qualities doing this helps me put things in perspective. My sister can give good relationship advice too, just don't tell her I said so.
I like this "sandwich" idea. I think it's good.
ReplyDeleteHey! I just came across your blog. I'm thinkin' I'm gonna stay. I'm your newest follower. And, that sandwich thing is a good idea. But I think I'd like it better if it were called a conversational oreo instead. :)
ReplyDeleteShanimalCrackers.blogspot.com
I like the sandwich idea. Pros and cons are fun.
ReplyDeleteYou are hysterical. And its actually called a "feedback sandwich. The idea is that when you are giving someone feedback you give them one thing they did well, one thing they need to work on, and then another thing they did well.
ReplyDeleteA "why I still see..." sandwich should be used more often in whining about relationships. We all need to vent but we also need to reassure our friends they don't need to plan an intervention to our shitty relationship when all they hear is negative.
I like this sandwich idea. I should make one about you:
ReplyDeletePositive: We enjoy talking about statistics.
Negative: Your Skype doesn't work too well.
Positive: You're quick to respond to me on Twitter.
I like your sandwich idea too, except it wouldn't work on me because I only have positives, HEY NOW. ;)
ReplyDelete(ahem.)
Lorraine
Hahaha! Love it!
ReplyDeleteThere's actually a Family Guy episode with the "conversational sandwich" which they call "the compliment sandwich."
Stewie: Now, I'm going to do something I
like to call the 'Compliment Sandwhich"
Where I say something good, talk about where
you need improvement, and then end with
something good.
Brian: Whatever you gotta do...
Stewie (flips notepad): Something good...
something good... You look like SNOOPY and
it makes me smile... but you have smelly dog farts
Are you in a not-relationship, too?
ReplyDeleteSweet. I didn't invent it, but I have taken it to the next level.