knowing: the "whipped" edition

How do you know when you're whipped?

How do you know when the one you love my be (unknowingly) taking advantage of your good natured-ness?

How can you escape, or rather overcome being the giver; and maybe get a little of that long over-due appreciation?

You demand it. Well... not exactly. But you have to make your point, loud and clear.

I've been the girl who aims to please, and gives and gives, while whoever I'm dating takes for granted how caring I am. I enjoy making their life easier, and when the relationship is all new and shiny I don't notice that the other person does less and less for me. Then, when the sparkle finally leaves their eye I realize I'm not getting my fair share in this relationship. I'm being walked on, whether the person realizes it fully or not.

What I (and you) need to do is fall in love with yourself. Love who you are, and realize that no one should ever treat you like less then the person you love deserves to be treated. When your best friend is in a relationship you can see everything with Mr. Wrong and point it out, but why not in our own relationships? Why do we let things slide, and then slide again, brushing it off as "out of character" or "they had a rough day"? Why do we let those who we want to make happy treat us like poo?

Shouldn't the ones who we love, love us back? They say they do... why don't they show us too?

This is just a thought. It has some to do with David, A LOT to do with Malcolm and Curtis (both past disasters I put myself through) and Andi (my best friend from the high school years). I was used, trampled on, and hurt so many times. I was confused and only tried harder to please someone I should have just let go. They made me feel like I could never be good enough, so I felt like I could never be good enough.

It's one of those things where you live and you learn. It sucks to always feel like you're on the back burner, and that no one will ever want you as much as you want them. That's a lie. That person is out there, waiting for you and wanting to make every day of your life better. Believe in that person, and know that once you find them, you'll know. You won't have to change them, just like you won't have to change for them.

Love isn't a game. It's a constant trial and error process that eventually winds up being perfect. But when it's not perfect, it's not worth anything.

Call me a hopeless romantic, call me a fool. But I believe in love. I believe in people. And I believe that you need to make mistakes before you can do it properly. Do make your mistakes, but learn from them. And eventually it'll all be perfect.

Easy Flower Headband

I wish I could describe to you how awesome I felt this morning after completing the first of many craft projects I now have on my list to complete... But rather than make my self feel like a fool for telling you about 8 stitches and some hot glue making me feel like a real girl I'll show you the few easy steps involved in creating a cutie head band that doubles as, well... I don't know what.

First, I followed the easy steps found here. This project is super fast. It took me all of about 15 minutes.

First, I broke the flowers off the stem and decided where I wanted to put it on the headband and made a small mark. I got a needle, threaded it, and put the first flower over the spot. Then I remembered to take a picture.
Next I sewed the second flower on. I made sure to arrange it opposite the other to look full. And luscious. And these flowers look like they could be either blue or purple. They're purple. Just in case you were dying to know.


It took me about three stitches per layer to get them to stay properly. The crafty lady from Home Made By Jill only used 2 per flower layer, but I'm probably rougher with my hair accessories, and felt three was perfect for me.

After I sewed 3 flowers on I felt like it looked good enough. I have short hair, and a small head. I didn't want to be excessive.


The last step is to put that strange plastic thing back in the middle of them to make them look like they have normal flower reproductive parts...

Did you know flowers are both boys and girls? And they need bees to spread the boy parts of the flower (pollen) with the girl parts of another flower. That's pollination for ya folks. Flower sex. You never knew why they called it "the birds and the bees" did you?

Biology lesson done.

So glue that strange bit on, hot glue works best and if you're anything like me you'll be picking the glue strands out of your hair, teeth, clothes... for hours to come. Hot glue is amazing, and amazingly messy.


Next put it on your head and admire how beautiful you are. You can even pretend you're somewhere that didn't just get a fresh coat of snow, and you won't have to wake up 10 minutes early tomorrow to scrape off your ice coated windows...

MIA- the other end of blogging (and my "real" life)

Sorry I've been so distant lately, but I got so caught up in reading blogs I basically forgot to write!

And who can blame me? With all that amazing stuff out there...

So, here are the lovely things I've been distracted by lately, and I promise to post more, hopefully with some of my own:



Pumpkin wontons , from the Steamy Kitchen!



I love pumpkin, and I love anything deep fried, especially in a wonton.

Or how about this cute little bag from MADE?




They say it is a "candy bag" however I'd probably just use it as wallet, or a purse.







I really want to make a flower head band. The idea is from Homemade By Jill.







Or these slippers? In adult size of course.


They are from this blog.

I most of all want to make this! I already bought the hole punch. I just need to find a frame. I don't want to spent $25 (can you believe how expensive frames are??)


I also bought sewing for dummies. I got a machine about 5 years ago and have never really taken it up. I have the time now, and I really want to make things like this.


Or this. But what really made me start looking through blogs, and that eventually snowballed into me forgetting to write for a while was this:

I've been cooking and Sunday night I got dough everywhere, including my clothes. I wanted an apron. I want to make one with fun fabric that is uniquely my own. It'll be spectacular. I really can't wait.

Curious Tuesday...

1) Who is the person you have loved for the longest?

Ahh, love...

I am madly in love with my best friend of 6 years. He is amazing. He is strong. He is handsome. He is gay.

When we started dating I was 16, he was 17. We've been through so much I can't even imagine my life without him. I love him as a friend, and I know that if we hadn't dated and I didn't fall in love with him and then our relationship took another even more deeply profound direction, I would not be the same person I am today. His coming out ripped my heart out. But it taught me how to be accepting and loving. I need him as much as he needed me. He is my soul mate. I'm so lucky to have him.

2) What gets in your way the most?

My lack of interest. I try, but I'm lazy. I'm smart, and lazy. I know what I want, but if it gets to hard or tedious I stop. Because I have the mindset that I shouldn't have to work that hard for something. I'm my own worst obstacle..

3) What is your most bittersweet memory?

Huh... I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

When I was a senior we had our end of the year choir concert when that seniors could sing a solo if they wanted, even if they were bad singers. My dear dear friend (at the time... we sadly don't talk anymore, I don't know what happened) was singing and it was so heartfelt and beautiful. He played the piano for himself, and the song was his mothers favorite. I cried, actually sobbed. I cried because I was remembering all the times we cut class to hang out, play the piano, and make up songs together, we were complete goofs, we played board games till 2 or 3 in the morning, we pretended we were on a TV show and interviewed the people around us who just didn't get it... he was my most memorable high school friend. We had Freshman Gym together and I since had come from a private school I didn't know anyone and he and I just clicked.

I was so happy we'd made it that far and that we'd done it together. Him playing and singing was the end. I would give anything to hear him sing that song one more time.

4) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one.

For the first 20 years of my life i hated tomatoes. I mean hated them. Now, I love them. I love them so much I eat them plane, or with some Italian dressing. I can't eat a sandwich without one. Tomatoes are yummy!

This photo reminds me of the plants we had growing up. I hated to eat them, but I loved to grow them. Watching nature when you're a child is an amazing thing. I'm thrilled I now like tomatoes... I honestly can't picture a sandwich without one.