Sunday, February 28, 2010

knowing: the "whipped" edition

How do you know when you're whipped?

How do you know when the one you love my be (unknowingly) taking advantage of your good natured-ness?

How can you escape, or rather overcome being the giver; and maybe get a little of that long over-due appreciation?

You demand it. Well... not exactly. But you have to make your point, loud and clear.

I've been the girl who aims to please, and gives and gives, while whoever I'm dating takes for granted how caring I am. I enjoy making their life easier, and when the relationship is all new and shiny I don't notice that the other person does less and less for me. Then, when the sparkle finally leaves their eye I realize I'm not getting my fair share in this relationship. I'm being walked on, whether the person realizes it fully or not.

What I (and you) need to do is fall in love with yourself. Love who you are, and realize that no one should ever treat you like less then the person you love deserves to be treated. When your best friend is in a relationship you can see everything with Mr. Wrong and point it out, but why not in our own relationships? Why do we let things slide, and then slide again, brushing it off as "out of character" or "they had a rough day"? Why do we let those who we want to make happy treat us like poo?

Shouldn't the ones who we love, love us back? They say they do... why don't they show us too?

This is just a thought. It has some to do with David, A LOT to do with Malcolm and Curtis (both past disasters I put myself through) and Andi (my best friend from the high school years). I was used, trampled on, and hurt so many times. I was confused and only tried harder to please someone I should have just let go. They made me feel like I could never be good enough, so I felt like I could never be good enough.

It's one of those things where you live and you learn. It sucks to always feel like you're on the back burner, and that no one will ever want you as much as you want them. That's a lie. That person is out there, waiting for you and wanting to make every day of your life better. Believe in that person, and know that once you find them, you'll know. You won't have to change them, just like you won't have to change for them.

Love isn't a game. It's a constant trial and error process that eventually winds up being perfect. But when it's not perfect, it's not worth anything.

Call me a hopeless romantic, call me a fool. But I believe in love. I believe in people. And I believe that you need to make mistakes before you can do it properly. Do make your mistakes, but learn from them. And eventually it'll all be perfect.

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