Thursday, February 18, 2010

I need to relax...

Today has been one of those days, you know, where you want to cry about every 15 minutes and you feel like the weight of the word would be lighter than what you have to bear...

I need something, anything to make me feel better, important, loved. I need someone who just wants to make me happy for a change, instead of me doing it all. Or feeling like I do it all.

Aren't relationships supposed to be fun? Aren't you supposed to feel like what you do for the other person matters enough for them to want to do things back?

Isn't the point of dating to share, and to feel completed by the other person?

Is it really that much to ask for you to follow through with your promises in a reasonable amount of time? For you to listen to me like I listen to you? For you to help me, and not stand there watching, then saying I look cute so I can't shouldn't get upset?

Well, I am upset. I don't like cooking, then cleaning up, then doing the dishes. I don't like waking up this morning and seeing your dishes still in the living room, especially when I did all the rest of them without any help on your part.

I don't like you thinking that a kiss on the neck once or twice a day is enough for me. It's not. I want to feel loved, and it's your responsibility to show me, not just tell me when I'm lying next to you crying.

Show me you love me by listening to and being interested in the things that are important to me, like I listen and am interested in the things that are important to you.

Show me by going out of your way, out of your comfort zone, out of your schedule to do something to make me happy; because I am almost always thinking of ways to make your life better or easier or more fun.

I want you to say thanks, often, and I want you to show me you're thankful. Just saying I'm important isn't enough, I need to feel it. And if you think you're showing me, but I still don't feel like it's enough you need to do it better, or differently, or more. Because I deserve that.

I deserve to be with someone who wants to make me feel loved, even if it takes a little work on their part, because I'm willing to bend over backwards for you if you show me your appreciation.

I don't really think it's all that much to ask to be shown love. I show you. I tell you. You know it. I want to be shown too.



  2. I get this. I don't feel respected as a person if I do all the work. All the dishes. All the emotional work.

    Clearly, you rock. And, if nobody else is saying it, then I will.

  3. Thank you, really.

    Today, you are my best friend.

  4. Wow. That must be really hard. I went through a kind of this, once upon a time. I was chasing him. I was always saying I love you, only to receive... well, to receive nothing. And it was horrid. I never felt like I was worth anything. So I know where you're coming from. And I'm sorry. Because every person deserves to be loved. To be loved properly. A relationship shouldn't be one-sided at all. And I hope things change for you.
    -D. xox