I know that around the start of a new year a lot of people have the "resolution" to lose weight, myself included.
But is that really something I decided to do to get healthier, or to be moreSome part of me wants to be healthier; and to be honest I feel better, I'm sleeping more soundly, I wake up rested, I even crave healthier foods because I know how I feel if I eat something less healthy. But I didn't start exercising because I wanted to be healthier, I wanted to be sexier. To feel prettier when I looked in the mirror. To be able to wear more of the clothes I own, because I have gained too much weight since high school to fit into what I wore only 2 years ago.
Physically appealing? For myself, or for others?
Why is it that I, this confident independent girl, is so concerned about how she looks? Why do I care so much what my size says about my character? I want to say it's because I can't help it. That because I am constantly bombarded with images of woman who represent beauty that are the size of a toothpick, but I don't think it is. I think I pretend to think those women are beautiful, but In reality I see beauty in the eyes, in the face, in the love that flows from someone. That is where I find beauty. And I know in that way I am beautiful. I am worth taking a second look at. My beauty comes from inside me, so I'm happy. I just need to remember that sometimes when I look in the mirror and compare myself to an unrealistic body image.