One of my favorite things about myself is my music, it's my voice, and it's one of the ways I express how I feel.
Something I love about myself
I love my voice.
I'm a great singer, I always have been. It's one of the main reasons I started out in school for music (the other being I love teaching/learning... mix those two together and you get music ed! simple math strikes again). I can probably sing better than most people you know, and when I practice often it's even better.
I wasn't sure what I was going to write about here, but on the way to work I decided to sing a bit and I was surprised by how great it sounded. I was sitting down for Pete's sake, sitting down and singing well don't usually go hand in hand, but I naturally sit pretty straight, especially when driving, so it's not that much of a surprise. What was a surprise was how beautiful it was. I was singing my favorite song that I've ever sung in my entire life, pie jesu. I sang it my last semester in music school, which I guess is somewhat symbolic now, since it's a funeral song. But God, it's wonderful. And I sound wonderful singing it.
What I love about this song, and myself singing it, is that there is such a lift in my soul. There is a lift in my soul when I sing anything well, or when I just sing for real in general (imagine fat lady singing with horns on her head... that's where i get the most joy. Don't get me wrong, I love me a good show tune, but I'll sing a classical ballad like my life depended on it). And that lift, that love I have for the music coming directly out of my person is what I love most about myself. I love that I have this gift, I love that I can love something that much and never lose it. I love it.
I loved music in a way that when I was in school for it I lost that feeling. I lost the ability to have it be special to me. Music was everywhere, but the passion was lost for me in the shuffle. I no longer felt connected, I felt over worked, with no real benefit. No soul uplifting moments. It was all work, and nothing fun anymore. Maybe that's the real reason I lost my desire to go... I wasn't getting the joy out of it anymore, and in taking the joy out of the music in my life, everything else didn't matter.