Friday, August 27, 2010

things that I've learned this week

A bazillion years ago I used to do "5 on Fridays" to give short updates on my life and have an easy post that was still somewhat genuine. I think that was annoying. I think weekly anythings are annoying. If that's your thing, great; it's just not for me. I'm a hater of schedules...

So, in light of the fact that I'm already tired of the 30 days of things that I don't really want to share but I'm doing it anyways to make myself more open with you and me... and that today is Friday and I love Fridays because I can come to work hungover the next day and no one cares, I'm going to do a post highlighting things I learned this week, or just observations. Next week I'll continue with day whatever day I'm on.

Pink can't really sing well, her voice is not pleasant but rather raspy, but I like the song "glitter". A lot. I think that if I found it in a karaoke bar I'd jump on that shit. You know who is an amazing singer though? Beyonce. I don't care how white I am, I love that girls vocal chords like no one elses. She's amazing. I refuse to back down on this.

Having friends who are girls is far better than just having friends who are gay boys. I don't care if they are "honorary girls" or you can talk to them about how cute the servers butt is, they do not replace the wonderfulness that is a girl friend. I somehow missed out on becoming really close to a lot of girls because in music school I wasn't a fan of the attitudes of most of them, and my friends from high school just didn't fit in my adult life. So, now, I'm becoming really close with my girl friends again, and I needed that. I will never let them slip to the wayside again, they are great. Speaking of girl friends, I really miss Adrienne, she always wanted to go to karaoke with me, and we'd sing lesbian songs from Rent together, and make up dances. We were a real spectacle. Girls are a different breed all their own, and now that I'm deciding to surround myself with them verses my customary menzies who also like menzies, I'm realizing how much I was missing out on.

okay, now that I've done it twice in one post it's official. Any time I write "somewhat" or "spectacle" I think I'm going to italicize them... at least for today. It worked the first time I wrote somewhat and I thought it was cute in a really annoying way. So, because I'm cute in an annoying way, I'm doing it!

I'm on season 2 of nip/tuck (under a rock, that's where... I know, and don't tell me anything! seriously though, who is it?) and I'm legitimately afraid of the carver. But I'm also glad that I'm not beautiful per se... I can't watch that show and go to bed, it doesn't work. I was up till after 2 doing nothing.

I finally cleaned up my following thing. I'm not retarded, but I can be stupid sometimes. I couldn't figure out how to delete some of the ones that weren't blogspotters, and with the time I've had I figured it out! I went from 90+ blogs to less than 50 which is far more realistic since I like a lot, but I followed some for a while because I stopped liking them but couldn't figure out how to stop following them. Snaps for me.

My weird dreams are back, and I don't go to bed drunk enough. Wednesday night I had a really weird dream that mixed real life D&D (as in I was on a quest and there was a battle and I cast spells) with a modern day escape something or other. The only solid details I remember was driving in a fast car down through a huge parking deck trying to not be noticed and me yelling at the DM for being mean as I was being crushed by a demon who looked like a giant frog. This could also stem from me reading the Dresden Files... No, I'm not going to stop. I'm only on the second book.

Not only is the way to a mans heart through his stomach, but if you cook for them early on they'll be so smitten with you they'll never want to leave. With David I didn't start cooking till toward the middle/end, and by then he'd already gotten it in his head that I couldn't cook... so, self fulfilling prophecy, he never liked anything I made.

I'm seeing a therapist. Correction, I will be seeing a therapist. Tuesday. I'm excited/nervous. I want the help; I need it really. But I'm afraid she's going to diagnose me with something, and although I know that 1/5 adults have a diagnosable mental illness, I'm not ready to be a statistic. I'm not ready to say, "yes I do have blah blah, but I'm seeing someone and taking medicine so I've got it under control." I don't want to have to "get it under control," I just want someone to talk to who can tell me I'm awesome, give me advice, and say everything will be okay.

I drink when I'm nervous, this goes without saying that I also drink when I'm nervous. I sit at a desk, the front desk to be exact, and not only do I hate small talk, but I also don't usually like the people I'm supposed to small talk with. So, instead of that, I take a sip of my ever present watter bottle. It means that my hands and my mouth are occupied; and my awkward 'I don't really feel like pretending I'm interested in anything you say' face is hidden for a few seconds while the other person thinks I'm slightly busy.  In public situations I'm also of the mindset that things are less awkward with a drink in your hand.... and logical thinking leads me to things are twice as less awkward with two drinks in your hand, and if you have a drink in each hand and another in your pocket (yea, I know how to party) things can't possibly be awkward at all.

My cat only likes me when I'm pooping. Seriously, it can be 4am and I get up to go to the bathroom and my cat comes running from the deepest depths of my house (more likely than not the autumn that he has adopted as his home) and will paw at the door. I let him in and he rubs all up on my legs and purrs then wants out again... so I let him out. But no, he didn't really want out, he wanted to lay his fat ass in between the bathroom and the kitchen so I can't close the door. Idiot. I can be sitting on the couch watching nip/tuck for the 3rd straight hour and he wants nothing to do with me, but as soon as I am on the pot, he's all about interrupting me.

My dog looks like he's on crack when I try to photograph him. Exibit A:

I don't think we need an exibit B... A says it all.

Enjoy your weekend.  


  1. Haven't quite finished reading this post but have come across the girlfriends don't beat gay guys - my best friend is a gay guy and most of my friends at the moment are guys. I really, really miss having a close girl friend who I can talk to about periods and go shopping. Not that I'm in anyway slating my best friend, but I miss having a fellow girl to confide in!

    - Lora x

  2. I agree with most of the things in this post, but I don't feel the same way about girl friends. I've had a bunch of them, but most ended up betraying me and disappointing me. I think it's because you can never truly get rid of some sort of "competition" that grows into the relationship...and I'm not even a competitive person! So I'm much more comfortable around guys, gay or not. I feel I can be truly myself when I'm with them, no judgement..

    Good luck with the therapist. You WILL be okay, you'll see. Just leave all of the diagnosis worries, and the statistic paranoia outside the door. It'll be fine. You have the power to establish this new relationship the way you want to, because it's brand new. We don't often get this kind of chances, so make the most of it! :)

  3. It's me again! I also know who the carver is, mwahaha!

    - Lora x

  4. OMG, this post had me laughing out loud! Hahaha! I used to watch Nip/Tuck and it was insane! So crazy. I never could watch it alone. Pretty people are evil.

    I really hope things go well with the therapist!

  5. What does being white have to do with listening to and enjoying Beyonce? I've loved her since "No, no, no."

    My cat loves to visit me in the bathroom, too. Weird. And yes, your dog looks like a crack fiend. He's jonesin!

  6. You know how you feel about girl friends? That is exactly how I feel about gay boys.