I'm a girl. Whew, now that that's off my chest we can continue.
Since the dawn of time females have been inherently drawn to the "asshole". Why? Why, when Adam specifically asked god for an inside out version of him with boobs did he ignore her and make her feel bad about herself?
Okay, I wasn't exactly there, but Mark Twain was, and he told me what happened.
What is it about a guy who treats us like poo that makes us want more?
Here's what I personally know about myself: I want to make a guy happy. I want to make him so happy he tells me I'm awesome. I want to be awesome. So... if I date a guy who is never happy, who never tells me I'm awesome, I must need to try harder. Right?
I need to be more beautiful, a better cook, and a better bed mate. I need to try harder, because if I can make him happy then I'll be happy.
Why do I have this crazy mentality? I know I'm not alone. This is why assholes rule the world. This is why they can treat us like crap and we keep coming back. This is why we're inherently attracted to the ones that don't want us.
They know. They know everything. They know that if they are in love with us they can't tell us or we'll never want them again. They know that the second they are nice to us we'll walk all over them like we've been walked all over so many times previously. So they like us, but they are mean to us to keep us around, and the meaner they are the better girlfriends we become.
I hate that this is true, because I've dated "the nice guy" and you want to know what I did? I walked all over his nice guy heart. I chewed it up and spit it out because he was into me. I'm such a stupid idiot.
This isn't directed at anyone in particular. I honestly believe that real relationships, the ones that last, the ones that deserve all the work I've put into so many, are mostly give and take. A healthy relationship means that each person has strengths that balance out the others weaknesses, and that although most guys are not "the one"; someone is out there who will make you feel worthy without feeling bored. Someone will love you and make you feel amazing without letting you walk all over them. Someone is out there, for most people, and if we stay at home bitching about all the assholes, we'll never find him. Or her.