Hi guys! This is Yette from Yettezkie's Doodles. I'm Denise's swap buddy from 20-Something's Blog Swap. I signed up for 20-Something's Blog Swap because I've always wanted to meet different bloggers from around the world, and upon receiving an email from 20SB's Chief Admin, DShan, I immediately opened it & checked who will my swap buddy be and collaborated with her on what we're planning to do next, with regards to the topic, etc.
Anyway, me and Denise are from different countries. I'm from the Philippines, and she's from United States. I'm 28 years old which makes me 6 years older than her, and I've been blogging for nearly seven (7) years now.
The Blog Swap's topic is entitled: "Action. What will you do next year that you've been putting off for too long?". However, Denise and I decided to go with a different topic. And since we're both single gals, we decided to go with the topic, The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being Single. So, here goes my topic & I hope you can relate to what I'm about to write/say... ♥
There are a lot of 20-something bloggers out there who are living the single life. Most of them are by choice and some of them are looking, but maybe, it's just not yet their time to find Mr. Right or even, a Mr. Right Now (that's a term I referenced from the movie, 'The Sweetest Thing'). As for me, I'm the one stuck in the middle. I know that it's kinda confusing, but in this particular topic, I go where the wind takes me. Me being single is not necessarily my choice, nor am I exactly on the lookout, if you know what I'm saying. Although I'm in my late 20's already, I'm not really in a do or die situation to get a love life or something. I'm just not that in a hurry, although sometimes, when times get really rough, I sure envy those of my nephews and nieces who already have their own bfs/gfs or already married (Yup, I already have 3 grand kids, while me, I don't even have any babies yet!)
Anyway, on to the comparison... :)
- Freedom - Who doesn't like or LOVE freedom? Or at least for those who's often been in a relationship, who doesn't want to be free even just for a day? This is one of the many perks that 'singledom' has to offer.
Freedom entitles a single person to go anywhere, go with anyone, anytime without worrying about her beloved someone getting furious at her because he hasn't received any text message from her about her whereabouts yet. Sometimes, couples break up because one of them, just wants to be free. Freedom is a deal breaker.
- Enjoy Dating - Date guys as many as you can! Go ahead! No one, and I mean, no one will get mad at you because it's just your right to get the most out of being single (unless your parents are uber strict even though you're nearly 25, lol). Just do it one at a time, and make sure though that you prioritize your studies first, in case you're still studying, lol.
This is one of the perks included in being single as well. You can date guys without thinking about any consequences or whatever. No one will tell you that you are being insensitive of somebody else's feelings, because it is well within your right to meet Mr. Right through the fun of dating. Enjoy as much as you can!
- Go About Your Day Carefree! - Spend your entire day malling, hang out with your friends, family, go on vacation, or pretty much just sleep all day without having to text or call someone asking how their day went, tell them where you're planning to go and all that jazz. To some people, they find this quite bothersome because they really don't find the need to inform their boy friend everything. While to some, it's pretty okay with them, in fact they find it sweet that their boy friend cares about them. Regardless, singledom takes that obligation/responsibility away(as well as your love life) and leaves you with a carefree day.
- More Time To Spend With Your Friends And Family - No boyfriend means no lovelife, no love life means lesser people to care about. Lesser people to care about implies more time not only for your family, friends but also for yourself. See, being involved with someone else divides your time into halves. Most people divide their time into two. The other half for their love life and the other half for their own life, which already includes their family, friends and the last one is for themselves. Yes it is quite hectic, but that's what most people prefer, and most of them are happy that way. Being single entitles you to spend a lot of time for all of those people whom you may have neglected while you were preoccupied with love, which already includes yourself. This is why most people choose this time to do a make over for themselves so that when they come back, they look a lot more hotter than ever. And they don't actually do this to show guys what they've been missing (although sorta..) but most of them are doing this for themselves, because admit it or not, we've spent too much time doing this for love rather than for ourselves.
- More Gifts During Holidays! - This applies for those who are already married, or living together. Instead of receiving gifts for the both of you (as a couple), you get to receive gifts which are dedicated especially for you, during the Holiday season.
- Your Main Responsibility Is Yourself And Yourself Alone - Being single takes off your responsibility to another person. You don't get to necessarily worry or inquire as to where he is in the wee hours of the night. Singledom offers you the freedom of not necessarily 'caring' about anybody else but yourself (except for your loved ones, of course). You're not really accountable for someones whereabouts since you're not involved with anyone.
- Loneliness - Sometimes despite the freedom and the carefree existence, you get to feel lonely and wonder why you still have nothing. Especially me, at the age of 28, though it's not really too late for me, when I become overly emotional and when times get rough and I get to think about all of my problems, I over-think and wonder if someone is still coming. (Yes. Sadly, sometimes I do resort to self pity)
- The Search - Singledom gets boring sometimes and even if you do enjoy the freedom, it's the loneliness that you sometimes can't stand. Therefore, you search. But the search ain't easy as well. As they say, most of the 'good' guys are either gay, or already taken (or perhaps both, lol). In my case, this happened to me once. He's already taken, and I thought he was gay when I first saw him. Lol.
The search can be really tiring and oftentimes, no matter how hard you try, they just don't wanna be found. They'll be the ones who'll find you...eventually...
- Fifth Wheel or Being Left Out - It's kinda hard being the only single gal, especially here in my family. My siblings, my nieces (the ones who are already in their 20s) are already involved with someone else. My brother(+)'s already married at the age of 20+, my sister was married at the age of 18, my brother was married before finishing college, and my niece and nephew had their babies even before they graduated college! So you see my dilemma?! I'm the only one, the only one who's not yet married, hasn't settled down yet, or doesn't even have a boyfriend to introduce to the entire family. Damn! So in my case, I'm the fifth wheel. And it's a hell of a disadvantage for me, because I often get teased.
- History 101 During Gatherings - Such questions like "Why are you still single?", "Do you have a boyfriend?" and if you haven't had a boyfriend for a long time, there goes the question "Are you still a virgin?" are the questions that I hated the most. Not because I don't like answering them (well, kinda...) but I just think that it's no body's business. Like I said, it's not really my choice, nor am I searching. I'm just going where the wind takes me. I'm available, but not looking. I don't need a history recap as to where I am standing right now. You'll know by the time a special someone because I'll be bringing him with me in special gathering just to avoid all the repetitive topics/questions.
- Company - Fear Of Growing Old Alone - I'm not really thinking about this as of yet. I'm not yet worried, although it once crossed my mind, I'm not denying that, but this is not really my main concern as of yet. But to some who are already in their late 30's this has probably crossed their mind one too many times. It's okay if you're a guy, but as for ladies, it's different. Guys are far more forward than girls are and they have much more potential of finding love even though they are nearly forty because they're confident. Unlike us girls, most of us are pretty conservative and we still carry around that trait even though we're at our thirty's.
So, there you go. For me, those are my advantages and disadvantages of singledom. As for me, I value my single life as much as the other gal, but sometimes, I also would love love, love to have someone to be with. Especially during the Holiday season.
Anyway, this Yette from Yettezkie's Doodles, come visit my blog and see what Denise has to say about this topic! Oh, and Merry Christmas you guys!!!
Editors note: okay folks, Yette is obviously far better with computers and making things pretty than I am, so I hope you enjoy not only her writing but also looking at the cool stuff she can do with code. I hope you'll head over to her blog to check out my post as well, because... I require it of my followers that they actually read stuff when I eventually get around to writing it. Happy Monday, you had better start wrapping stuff, you've only got a few more days.