Thursday, October 7, 2010

things my therapist says

I'm a girl. I have emotions.

My therapist is one of my favorite people in the world. I love her.

She is my therapist soul mate. I can't imagine her being any different.

I'll tell you about her, and you'll see why I think she is just plum amazing. She is so cute. I've never seen a girl as cute. She wears adorable little dresses and cute sweaters. She has a soft voice and  a smart brain. I like her brain. She talks to me about the theory of phychology... How did I get so lucky to have a therapist who talks to me about the legistics of therapy?!? She's totally my kind of gal.

The thing about her is that she is technically a med student doing her year of in hospital work (does anyone know what that's called? I've been having trouble remembering words the past few days, my left brain must be tired) so she is still writing papers and reading her books learning all about the crazies of the world.

The thing she told me yesterday was that the feelings we have are related to the thoughts we have about the situations we're in, and if we can take a minute to look at the thoughts objectivly we may realize that they aren't entirely logical.

Example: Tuesday I was feeling really doubtful about the car I picked to buy and pay on for the next five years. I was nervous I'd made the wrong choice, and that something vary bad was going to come from it. I also kept thinking I shouldn't have made that decision, I'm young, I don't have a lot of wisdom or huge cash supplies to back up my decisions...

The thought was that I might have made the wrong choice, that I wasn't smart enough to make the right choice and the fact that I don't have a lot of money to my name means that if something happens and I'm not working I won't be able to afford it.

The feelign of doubt stemmed from those thoughts.

Those thoughts were all put in my head by my mother, I didn't think any of those things till my mother bombarded me with the ideas.

The truth is that I'm borrowing the money from my uncle, and I have 5 hears to pay if off at 4% interest... there is no way I'd be able to get interest that low on my own. If something happens and I can't pay him for a little while I don't think he is going to turn it into a collection agency, a bank would. This car will last me more than a year like the other one did. I paid over $3000 for just a years use out of that car with the payments and all the other money I put into it. I'd rather buy a car from a family member knowing it works properly, has been kept in good condition, and won't poop out on me. This car is all sorts of lovely.

looks like this, only black

My doubts were only from the thoughts my mother put in my head. I made a good decision.

Another thing that she and I talk about is right and wrong decisions, and how it's never really black an white, it's grey; and we have to trust that we made the more right decision, or the better decision. Life isn't cut and dry, it's all uncomfortable oozes and such. You can't always be one hundred percent positive about something, there is always another side of the spectrum to look at and consider if the positives out weigh the negatives.

Having emotions isn't weak, it doesn't mean you're not logical or intelligent; it just means you're human. It becomes illogical when you can't look at why you're feeling the way you are, because you may be having illogical spur of the moment thoughts that aren't fair to yourself.

Just because your relationship ended doesn't mean you're a failure at life and no one will ever love you again, those thoughts come from our own imagined world where we suck and out lives are meaningless... it's not the truth. Someone can and will love us again (as long as we love ourselves) and the world isn't crumbling beneath our feet. I'm smarter than my emotions. I can handle it.


  1. I believe the word you are looking for is residency.

  2. thank you. What would I do without you?

  3. For a little while, I was thinking about seeing a therapist. I was curious about the whole process.. I still might, though. We'll see.