Wednesday, November 3, 2010

lessons learned

I’ve noticed that good advice always comes at the worst times. And by this I mean that we get great advice from people who love us and just want to help us when we are most stubborn and have out ears most shut.

So needless to say we don’t learn a thing until all is said and done, we’ve made our mistake, taken the hit, and learned that sometimes we would have saved a lot of struggle if we had just listened to so-and-so’s advice in the beginning.

However, I am firmly aware of the fact that the lessons I learned most from are from the mistakes I myself made because I felt the actual pain and anguish, instead of hearing some vivid story from back in the day. And although I would like to give bits of my hard earned advice and “wisdom” to people out there, I know that the hardest lessons are the ones you have to learn on your own; and no one can tell you anything that will prepare you like a first hand experience.

Why then, you may ask, am I still going to offer you my advice? Because I love you, all of you. And for the good of mankind I share my knowledge with the world. Even if it lands on barren soil. Some day you’ll see what I was talking about and maybe, just maybe, I can make getting there that much easier for you.

-Don’t settle, whether it be in love, friendship, a job, or school. But also, don’t deny your feelings. You have to do it wrong before you will be able to do it right, and you have to experience the bad before you can recognise the good.

-Friendship goes both ways, and if you feel like you are being used or taken advantage of, you probably are. If you are too afraid to stand up for yourself, you must accept that people will keep walking all over you. You have to learn to pick your battles, and no one will fight for you if you don’t.

-It’s okay to cry. Crying is not a sign of weakness, its a sign that you have accepted that you are overwhelmed, and when the crying is done, you can begin to solve those problems.

-Don’t be embarrassed to ask for something, no matter how capable you think you are, you cannot do everything, and no one expects you to.

-When it’s time, let go. Holding on to something that is no longer there just brings more disappointment, more pain, more confusion. Holding onto something that was never there is just stupid; but, unfortunately, you have to learn things the hard way. There is no easy way.

-Trust that you will come out of every situation a better person, because you will; and trust that everything happens for a reason, because it does. Above all, trust in yourself, because if you can’t rely on yourself then you can’t rely on anything


  1. This post is very good timing for me. I recently had to let go of a friend/ex-boyfriend/current sex partner because he was hurting me. Our relationship wasn't equal or reciprocal. It was extremely hard for me to let go but I realize it was for the best. I was incredibly hurt and sad but I do have an odd sense of relief about it now. Thanks for the advice :).

  2. Fabulous advice there, very wise words! "Friendship goes both ways" is the one i can relate to most. I'm very loyal to my friends but i have found that some people are not worthy of it, it has to be a two way thing, you can't be there for a friend if they are never there for you. Luckily i've managed to surround myself with great friends who i have known for a long time.

  3. I'm happy im back and able to read all your post again!!!

  4. Your post is very true today...I am just sorry you had the first hand knowledge in all those areas already, when you are still so young. BUT that is good, hopefully that will save you some of the drama later on (see, I didn't learn those lesseons until I was 28=30) so you are way ahead of the game. :)