Wednesday, November 24, 2010

things I'm thankful for.. ah, suck it

As far as I'm concerned there are really only a few reasons ever to do a super cliche post, and those reasons are as follows:

a) I want to

and b) I've got little to nothing else to do

I know for a fact that my mother will make me list things I'm thankful for, so why not be honest here instead of the usual, "my friends and family" bs that I say each year because I want to get to the food?

I figured I'd do five, that's a nice even number, even being a relative term and more in reference to my ability to multiply and divided things by it than actually being and even number.

I'm thankful for my friends, a few in particular who have shined like beacons in the darkest of nights. I am thankful that I have people who I can say literally anything to and fear no form or judgement or rejection. I'm thankful that when all I could do was cry they made me laugh, and I am thankful that through their amazing ability to not get tired of me saying the same thing over and over, I talked my way out of one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I'm thankful for my voice, my writing voice and my singing one (and my talking one, I'll tell you something funny about that in a minute). I'm thankful that through my blogging I've been able to find an honest voice that not only sounds like me (how I talk, my particular phrases and such) but is pretty eloquent at times. Being an AP English nerd I wrote a bit pretentiously in the beginning, things didn't flow, I was awkward, not funny, and very very uninteresting. Now, through lots of trial and error I have come up with something I'm really happy with, and since you guys seem to be responding better, I think that you'll agree. Comedy is a huge part of who I am, and I know it's sometimes really hard to be funny in print, especially when you're just barely funny in real life... What I'm trying to say is I like the way I write, and I am thankful for finding it.

I'm thankful that even though I've no longer continued with my musical education I haven't lost my ability to sing. I can still bust out and operatic tragedy (please forgive me, you don't know it but that was a Little Women the Musical joke, remember when I said I wasn't always funny?) when I try and I can still sing mad karaoke, even when I am sober. It just sounds better when you're drunk. I mean I'm drunk... I'm drunk. Not really, still at work people, I haven't started yet. I've yet to publish an intoxicated post, that needs to change.

And, finally the interesting story involving my talking voice.

I haven't talked about match dot com in a while because I actually haven't been doing anything I think my blog should know about, if you know what I'm sayin'. But, 3 of the 4 people I have met gave me an interesting compliment: my voice. I've always know I have the voice of a phone sex operator, I discovered this when someone I used to work with and I had a quick conversation about switching shifts and the next day he was looking at me funny. I asked him what was up and he said that he was slightly aroused by our phone conversation, then all the boys I worked with started calling me to find out and low and behold it was true. I've got a good phone voice, I know this. I think I have the wrong job, those people don't do anything and get paid big.

Anyways, I may have a good phone voice, but that doesn't change how monumentally awkward I am as a human. I also hate using the phone because I talk on it all day when I'm not blogging (and sometimes when I am, how important can dealing with someones car insurance be?) so basically I never talk to any of the dates on the phone before hand. It's too weird for me, I don't know what to say sometimes to people I do know, let alone ones I don't.

So, I meet with these strange men and one of the first things 3/4ths of them say is how amazing my voice is. I guess that's a good thing since I talk a shit ton... it's from blogging I've decided. I never used to talk so much before I wrote so much.

I'm thankful for sex. I am not sure if this needs explaining, but when you are single for a while and then start doing it again you realize how freaking pent up you were and how much you really did miss it.

I'm thankful for entertainment. Blogs, books, movies, musicals, TV, texting, the SIMs, orchestras, restaurants, bands, shows, video games, porn, the internet, shopping, cooking, eating, drinking, other drugs, games, cards... basically all that stuff that keeps me occupied. I know that old people think "young people" are all over the place and can't sit down for five minutes and are constantly jumping from one thing to the next since we all have ADD because our mothers are hells angel wannabes who smoked during out gestation, and although that may be true, I'm damn thankful for the lovely things that I do find solace in. I may be bored after 15 minutes of some activities, but I've got plenty of interest to switch off between and I'm generally entertained most of my free time. Yes, I do like shiny things but that's because I'm a woman, it has nothing to do with a short attention span.

Finally, I'm thankful for my family. Yup, I went there. My family, although they have the ability to annoy me at all hours of the day and night I love all of them. They house me (I pay very little to live in a house my mother rents me and my sister) and job me (I work for my uncle and with my aunt) and basically if I ever needed anything I could ask them (like my car... paying my uncle for that one, my student loans and Hospital bills... those were my dad...). So, I want to hit you guys most of the time, but you help me not be homeless and unable to transport myself and have more debt then I would know with what to do. 

Go enter the giveaway, you've got 8 hours.


  1. I. Love. This.

    Cliche posts rule. ;)

    Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. Sec phone operator voice?! JEALOUS.

  3. "the first things 3/4ths of them say is how amazing my voice is. I guess that's a good thing since I talk a shit ton."

    That IS funny!

    Always nice when you finally find your voice!

    Nice blog you've got here. So glad you stopped by!

  4. Love it. I love having a writing voice... I'm so much better at expressing myself through words than speaking aloud. And I agree about the sex comment; so very true.

  5. I also love your writing voice. This is something I continually struggle with and am working to develop. Great job!

  6. ahahaha he was slightly aroused by your phone sex vioce :D

    Happy Thanksgiving


  7. You gave in to the Cliches! That's ok sometimes there are truths in cliches.

  8. Nice post, butttt, "I think I have the wrong job, those people don't do anything and get paid big." One of my friends was a phone sex operator for months. She hated it, a lot. And she got paid like minimum wage with commission or something. I wouldn't even want to imagine some of the phone convos she had to do; some really nasty shit. o.o