Tuesday, July 20, 2010

because when you say "I'm really organized" this much, you realize it might actually be OCD

I was in the bathroom about a minute ago and the thought "I'm really organized" streamed through my head like the refrain to the song of my life. Then I thought... maybe it's not so much "organized" as OCD... and my pee stopped.

Have you ever noticed how when you get scared the pee stops? I don't think boys can stop the flow, so this is for the vagina bearers here. Someone knocks on the door, the pee stops. The girl in the stall next to you gags herself and starts vomiting, the pee stops. The little kid whose mother couldn't go to the toilet without bringing him in the stall crawls under and asks you why your thing is funny looking, your pee stops...

I guess pee stopping is also a sign of an epiphany as well, because mine surely ceased and I had to really concentrate to get things started back up down there.

This thought came from the fact that this morning I opened my suitcase and grabbed clean underwear and a dress out of it, threw them on then walked out the door for work. I knew the clothes were clean because I have this system where I take off my dirty clothes on a trip and put them into the mesh part of my suitcase so I don't grab them in a rush and put them back on. This is one of the many organizational tricks I have for myself... and that ladies and gents is how it starts.

"I have organizational tricks"


"I don't want to confuse myself if I'm in a rush"




I have a habit of making fun of people. People I like, people I don't like, old people, handicapped people, ugly people, no one is immune. I even make fun of myself, because if I didn't laugh, I'd probably cry. So why didn't I see my own freaky overly organizedness before? I think it's because I don't have OCD, I think I just have OD... or CD... or oCD (notice the small o). I don't think I'm obsessive, I think I'm easily confused/distracted therefore I learned the tricks to help myself not die. I put my keys in 1 of 3 places no matter what, and if they are not there I can't find them. I have lists of things, always lists in my mind, of everything: things to do, things to buy, things to bring... I keep my life in my purse because I don't want to forget anything; I check maps compulsively because I don't want to get lost. I can't cook in a kitchen with dirty dishes because I feel like there is no room, I get claustrophobic easily, I can't find anything in a fridge that isn't organized...

However, I have clothes strewn about my room always, I like if the books on my shelf are not next to each other is they are in a series or the same color, I hate hanging my clothes in my closet or folding them so they are never put away. Sometimes I forget deodorant... sometimes I just don't care. So how oddly organized can you be before you have OCD?

How many times can you check that you have your phone before your doctor hands you a prescription?

Speaking of doctors and prescriptions... I think I would like to go on something for anxiety... I don't want to talk about it now, but I tend to get nervous and overwhelmed in some social situations and when I'm traveling. I think an anti-anxiety pill would help loads, and since 1 in 4 people has a diagnosable mental disorder/chemical imbalance I have no shame in admitting that my anxiety is getting worse. It's why I don't take birth control, I get panic attacks and my lady doctor said that is one symptom synonymous across the board and you can't really get rid of it with switching brands like you could if I was experiencing headaches, or nausea. So I'm slightly oCD and I have anxiety. I also play Dungeons and Dragons on Saturday nights and sometimes watch Anime... I brush my teeth in the shower and wear sunglasses over my regular glasses if it's too bright outside, only in my car. I wear 2 bras regularly and sometimes I vomit when I drink too much.

Have at me boys... If I can't make fun of me I can't make fun of you.

Once I laughed at a blind person eating spaghetti -Liz Lemon

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