Tuesday, July 27, 2010

what did girls do before they had a gay best friend?

I'm a day away from embarking on my first un-family vacation ever with none other then my gay best friend. I'm getting anal retentive and I have three pages of lists in front of me ranging from things to buy, things to pack, things to cook to eat while down there, to what spf sunscreens I'll be applying in 5 minute intervals and a diagram of my body and the most sun sensitive areas. Kidding, slightly. That list is in my head. I am excited I don't have to worry about making a flight appropriate bag since we'll be driving because I refuse to be without reliable transportation for more than a day.

Have I talked about my over obsessive need for a car? I need to drive, everywhere, so I can leave when I want to. If I go on a date with a guy I'll usually meet him somewhere or drive to him. Always having an exit strategy is one of the biggest things I can preach. Always be prepared, and leave the place cleaner then you found it: girl scouts of america.

Bobby, my best friend who happens to be gay is my soul mate, so to speak. He is pissed we're not flying, but you know what? I don't care. He'll be glad when we get there and have a car we don't have to rent. Also, I haven't seen him since I got back from NY and that was only for about 3 minutes because I didn't realize he'd be so busy so I just hung out with David since I'm a girl and I'm stupid.

I like this picture for a couple reason:
1. Its washed out so you can't tell I'm unnaturally pale,
and 2. My hair looks great.
 Love-a the Dave Matthews.
Bobby, my heart, my breath, my life, is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I need him. I don't know what girls did before they had gay best friends...

Who dressed them? Who went to weddings with them? Who got drunk with them on Tuesday nights and fell asleep spooning them on the couch after watching 5 DVD"s of Will and Grace?

Who did they go shopping with? Who got things for them off of tall shelves? Who did they go to restaurants with and talk too loudly about the other people around them with?

Who did they lose their virginity too? A Straight guy?

If you lost your virginity to a straight guy I'm sorry, because he probably didn't love you... unless you' were married, then just move part this bit of italicized text and smile because you're lucky. If you are a female and lose your v-card to a gay guy that means he loved you enough to try to make everything work with you. He loved you enough to give up the idea of being happy with Prince Charming and wanted to choose you because you're wonderful. And although the sight of your vagina was enough to send him completely over the edge, you were special enough for him to try. Good for you. Don't let that one slip away, gay guys are the best.

Gay best friends are just better. They like the girlie things like shopping, WaG, cooking... they are super clean and smell lovely. But they are better than a girl because they tell you when they are mad instead of telling everyone but you (guilty), they can fix things and build things. They can carry lots of groceries and reach things that are too high up. They are better than boyfriends because you don't have to have sex with them to keep them happy, they love you for you. They are amazing.

In reality the only person in my life that I'm not related to that I can see myself with in 50 years is Bobby. We've talked about moving to another state together, or even France.

if we move there he is buying me Rosetta Stone, because I can understand French when he speaks it at me because I know his speech patterns so well, but I'd need to learn on my own... hey, free Rosetta Stone!

Life without Bobby wouldn't be a life worth living, and I'm really excited to pop our Myrtle Beach cherries together. Back to making my crazy lists... I think I need to re-copy them so they are neater.


  1. Have fun on your un-family vacation! I love going on trips with friends... seems less stressful haha.

  2. AMEN! My gay best friend is the best thing that's ever happened to me!