Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I wouldn't pay minimum wage... but I'd pay for it

Want to stimulate the economy? Want to provide someone with a job that needs done? I've got an idea.

Ask any woman with a ample bosom and she'll tell you, some days bras just don't cut it.

It may be because I'm slouching today, but I'm tired. So if it's because I'm slouching or because it's Wednesday and my boobs have had it for the week my normal two bra set up just isn't cutting it.

Yes, I wear two bras, almost every day. A regular underwiry goddess that separates them and makes them look all sorts of lovely and a sports bra to keep them close to my heart.

But, today I'm having trouble with the wire deciding I put too much pressure on it ( really, you only do one thing, so it right! jeez). It's making the right one hurt and I am not feelin it, nope.

So, here I am with my idea to stimulate the economy with an idea for the out of workers who think they are too good for McDonald's: boob holder.

I want to hire someone who will follow me around and hold my boobs up on days like today when 2 bras just aren't enough. This person will obviously have to work for less than I do, considering I still need to live, but why not? There would have to be a no grope clause in their contract that involves maybe them paying me, but that sorts of gets sketchy with me being an assumed prostitute when I really just want to take some stress off my back.

Have you ever had anyone pick up your boobs? I know it seems weird, but my gay friend finds it funny to pick them up then drop them and see how it almost knocks me over; I don't understand the gays, they like boobs almost more than the straight ones... almost. Back to how wonderful my body feels for those few precious seconds when I no longer have to support my own chest. It's magical, like tinker bell giving Harry Potter a beejay magical. I want to experience that magic,and if someone would do it for a whole day I'd pay them.


  1. Hahaha this was fantastic. I stick to one bra normally, but always ALWAYS rock two at the gym.

    I found you through the boyfriend whisperer and I read your about. We are so similar and beautifully different at the same time : ) Can't wait to read more!

    oh, and I'm doing the 30 days of truth too!

  2. I can't imagine wearing two bras on a regular basis - and I wear a 34G bra. I think you should try to find a more expensive, better quality bra so you won't go through all that. It is unfortunate that the insurance company world does not understand how horrible big breasts are - I was declinded for a reduction because it was not 'medically necssary' having all this extra weight wreaking havoc with my back and shoulders. Then again, I don't complain to the doctors at every visit.

  3. Owe, I'm guess I should consider myself lucky to only be wearing one bra... My C cup is not a burden...

    I do however live with a roommate and I feel so uncomfortable to sleep without a bra... Being without a bra is like being naked and I'd feel naked in the room even when she's there... So that's my reasoning for keeping it on while I sleep... Probably not a good idea to sleep with a bra, but I can't help the naked feeling... My poor babies never get a break... sucks, but meh... It's tolerable.

  4. I only rock 2 bras to the gym at the moment.

    I HAVE to sleep with a sports bra. I can't free-ball (free globe?) it.

    My boobs go on strike too. God, wouldn't you? Just imagine that life of confinement.