Thursday, September 23, 2010

wizard angst

Shit, I feel angsty today. I want to hit everyone really hard in the face, and then do it again.

This is probably one of those days I should just leave my post in draft form for me to later delete thinking I was such a ninny head and then write something pleasant, comical, and/or enjoyable to read... you'd be surprised how many drafts have gone to the delete world and you never get to read them because I was protecting your little eyes from the meanness that is me sometimes.

Things that are annoying me today:

Pandora has no rhyme or reason to the commercials... more in the afternoon and none in the am... why? And yes, I only know what "that 2:30 feeling" is because you point it out to me at 2:10 every single day. I don't drink energy drinks, and I won't be taking 5 hour energy any time soon. Why can't Pandora (who obviously knows my tastes because I thumbs up or thumbs down most of the options they present me) give me relevant ads? Google does it. I normally am distracted by the ads because they are things I actually want. Google knows me and I don't even have to do anything more than what I'm already doing. Also, Madonna? Really? I've thumbs downed all the other crap songs you try to make me listen to, so don't play Madonna when you know I'm not in the mood. Please play songs I've already liked... it'll make us both a lot happier.

My sister makes me want to move out... I've been looking at apartments and craigslist-roommate-lookers for the last week and I can't decided if I really should move out or just murder her in her sleep... both options seem wonderful. I live with her right now because when she finally births the bastard child she's carrying and still can't do anything for herself I'll be there to help. My mother thinks it's a good idea. My mother also thinks that she should switch to working nights and sleep in my bed during the day so she can be there to take care of this kid (more enabling.... my sister isn't incapable, she is just monumentally lazy, and filthy, and annoying).

I still can't effing sleep and it's becoming a huge problem. I am so tired all the time but as soon as I lay down my brain won't shut up and I lay there... Then, once I fall asleep I wake up 3 hours later to pee because I drink all the time to keep from drying out from taking decongestant every twelve hours because the god dammed pollen count is over the top this year.

happy first day of fall....

The lack of sleep makes me want to cry all the time. No sleep = very cranky Denise

My sister is once again annoying the piss out of me because she's mad I fed the cat this morning... Well I'm mad he gets under my feet and won't leave me alone when you don't feed him. What in the world should I do?

Moving out seems like such a great idea.

Except, oh wait, I went for an oil change last Friday and they told me I need about $600 in work... within the next month... just shoot me. I can't afford to live and drive...

Golly I'm feeling all sort of pleasant today... all sorts

The therapist thinks it's about time I start taking birth control ( I know, everyone my age takes it, I don't. I'm not everyone) which means that I have to call my shit health insurance company and see if I can find a gyno that is covered under my plan. Being in school had so many advantages including my father’s wonderful health insurance, being an adult blows.

Maybe I should stop texting people seeing if they want to do something tonight and just lock myself in my room till I turn back into a butterfly, or at least a person that passes for enjoyable. I hate days like this. 


  1. ummm....I LOVE YOU!!!! I hope tomorrow is better! Either way, Saturday will be fun. :) Turn the frown upside down!

    "Today I bought my 8 year old brother a nightlight. It was the kind that turns on when a shadow covers it. When I discovered that it did this, I spent an hour in his room pretending I was a wizard by moving my hand near it and away from it and saying "LUMOS!" MLIA"

  2. I'm sorry you're having such an icky time. :( I hope it gets better soon! <3

  3. It's all a balance. A bit difficult to live with family but everything will work out the way it should. I'm glad you wrote this post, don't be afraid to say anything. Not everything is rainbows and sunshine.

  4. This is so me right now. I've not blogged in awhile because everything i write down is mean and angry. I keep thinking, no one wants to read my whining, but then I read this post and it totally made me feel like i am not alone in my rage fit.