It's Tuesday, and to be honest I've been losing track of time lately because once again the newly single bug has made life more of an adventure.
I'm not so gung-ho about knowing exactly what I'm doing that evening, well, not really that... more like I do plan things in advance, because I have to since I have a lot of things I'd like to do and a lot of people I'd like to do them with. Take that how you see it :)
Okay, also, I had an entire Sunday to do whatever the heck I wanted, and it was probably the best Sunday ever... except for the awkward dinner I had with David, but that's for a later explanation.
It was wonderful because I woke up when I wanted, and didn't have to get out of bed for fear of waking up a sleeping whatever next to me. I played the sims for a bit, got up, made awesome chicken salad, made yummy bagel pizzas, and laid about for a while. After I did that Ellen came over, we ate cheese cake and I finally showered at around 4pm.
Skip to after the awkward dinner thing with David.
Bobby, Adrienne, and I went out and had drinks at the Fridays near our house. It was great. I was exhausted by the end and Monday was a mix of sleepiness and blah blah blah-ness that didn't really matter. Work has become something that interrupts my social life, which I actually have. It's sheerly amazing. I love it.
I love that I no longer am worried that David will not want to see me. I love that people want to do things with me, and I am not afraid to ask. I love that I do things, and am not dependant on Davids approval for my own self worth. I love that I am happy, whether I am alone or with other people. I'm happy.
About my awkward dinner, it was, well... awkward. I hung out with David Saturday night because he got a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant so he too me, then it was it was Adrienne's birthday so after I went home and took a nap the three of us went to a bar and had some drinks. After Adrienne went home David and I got Papa Johns and watched Dogma till after 3 in the morning. We had a lot of fun, it was great, I was tired.
Earlier in the week he and I made plans to get sushi and watch Fringe together on Sunday, so after all the fun we had Saturday night I was really looking forward to it; plus I love sushi, I feel like it makes everything better.
However, when we got together it wasn't fun. It was forced, he was in a bad mood. He was annoying me and pissing me off. I also felt like we didn't have anything to talk about, because I had just spent quite a bit of time with him.
All I can say is that this makes me happier than anything else that I have done in the last almost month he and I have been broken up. It feels like it did when we were first together (not the David in a bad mood bit). I didn't want to see him every day, I felt like I was being pulled away from whatever else good was happening in the world. That's how I used to be with Malcolm too, except I flat out told him I didn't want to see him that much; not David, I don't remember how it got to the point with him that it did, it just got there.