Tuesday, May 25, 2010

another list

It's Tuesday, and to be honest I've been losing track of time lately because once again the newly single bug has made life more of an adventure.

I'm not so gung-ho about knowing exactly what I'm doing that evening, well, not really that... more like I do plan things in advance, because I have to since I have a lot of things I'd like to do and a lot of people I'd like to do them with. Take that how you see it :)

Okay, also, I had an entire Sunday to do whatever the heck I wanted, and it was probably the best Sunday ever... except for the awkward dinner I had with David, but that's for a later explanation.

It was wonderful because I woke up when I wanted, and didn't have to get out of bed for fear of waking up a sleeping whatever next to me. I played the sims for a bit, got up, made awesome chicken salad, made yummy bagel pizzas, and laid about for a while. After I did that Ellen came over, we ate cheese cake and I finally showered at around 4pm.

Skip to after the awkward dinner thing with David.

Bobby, Adrienne, and I went out and had drinks at the Fridays near our house. It was great. I was exhausted by the end and Monday was a mix of sleepiness and blah blah blah-ness that didn't really matter. Work has become something that interrupts my social life, which I actually have. It's sheerly amazing. I love it.

I love that I no longer am worried that David will not want to see me. I love that people want to do things with me, and I am not afraid to ask. I love that I do things, and am not dependant on Davids approval for my own self worth. I love that I am happy, whether I am alone or with other people. I'm happy.

About my awkward dinner, it was, well... awkward. I hung out with David Saturday night because he got a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant so he too me, then it was it was Adrienne's birthday so after I went home and took a nap the three of us went to a bar and had some drinks. After Adrienne went home David and I got Papa Johns and watched Dogma till after 3 in the morning. We had a lot of fun, it was great, I was tired.

Earlier in the week he and I made plans to get sushi and watch Fringe together on Sunday, so after all the fun we had Saturday night I was really looking forward to it; plus I love sushi, I feel like it makes everything  better.

However, when we got together it wasn't fun. It was forced, he was in a bad mood. He was annoying me and pissing me off. I also felt like we didn't have anything to talk about, because I had just spent quite a bit of time with him.

All I can say is that this makes me happier than anything else that I have done in the last almost month he and I have been broken up. It feels like it did when we were first together (not the David in a bad mood bit). I didn't want to see him every day, I felt like I was being pulled away from whatever else good was happening in the world. That's how I used to be with Malcolm too, except I flat out told him I didn't want to see him that much; not David, I don't remember how it got to the point with him that it did, it just got there.

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