Monday, May 17, 2010

the "ex" factor

Where do I start?

Well, recently I was at a shindig and I was having a super dooper fun time. I was eating 'smores, I made yummy mac and cheese which everyone liked so that made me feel special, I was seeing friends I hadn't seen in a while, and I was drinking of the boozes... something I also enjoy.

Because of all of this I discovered a few things. 1. I'm going to miss Adrienne so very much when she moves to New York. Best part of that though is I have a legit reason to go to New York and will finally be able to see the city! 2. Once I get drinking I'm a pretty terrible beer pong player. And 3. I don't like being called and ex-girlfriend. I don't like it at all.

If we used to date and I still talk to you, I more likely than not consider you my friend; and when David referred to me as his ex, well let's just say it kind of hurt. Then, to top it all off Bobby called me an ex girlfriend the next day. Why? He and I dated so long ago I can barely remember it. Out friendship has dominated our relationship for over 4 years... we dated for only one and a half.

Ex-girlfriend just sounds so negative. It sounds like something you say when you look at the bottom of your shoe after smashing a bug. It makes me feel like the friendship we are pursuing is less important than the fact that we once dated, but broke it off for any number of reasons.

Once I got thinking I realized I rarely ever say ex-boyfriend. I usually refer them as "someone I used to date", because I just don't like the connotation associated with "ex". And if they are my friend, I say it. I say, "they are my friend", and if we have a past I say, "we have a past." Don't ask me why this upset me so much. It's not that I don't understand that David will no longer refer to me as his girlfriend, it's truly because I hate how being an "ex" makes me feel. No matter who is saying it of me.


  1. I totally agree and understand. I hate that term as well... I don't even like thinking or hearing it remotely connected with me or the people I love, like you! We should find a new way that doesn't make one feel, "this awesome person I once knew..."

  2. or, "this awesome person I still know but no longer want to kiss"