Monday, May 3, 2010

should I talk about how sad I am?

I think I will, because it's all I can think about.

When you're in a relationship with someone it's a general understanding that you both make compromises and work at the relationship, and do things to make the other person happy because you're in love, and love is about giving. Right?

And because you're in love you want to spend time together, and share things with the other person, and in doing so you become closer. Right?

And when one of the individuals has a problem, they elan on the other, creating a relationship of balance, and support, and all those other things people say. Right?

Well, that's not how I feel.

I don't feel loved, or wanted. I don't feel listened to, or like he wants to share. I feel like I've been shut out, and in turn shut off.

I don't like this, and maybe it's just because he has been gone so much lately, but whatever it is it hurts. My heart hurts. I want him, but I want him to treat me like I deserve to be treated.

I deserve to be loved, and to feel loved. I deserve to feel important, and wanted, and worth making an effort for. I deserve to be included, and sought out. I deserve to be happy.

So do I leave... or hope he thinks I'm worth keeping, and makes an effort to show me his love?

I hope it's the latter.

I really, really hope.

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